Find out if you’re really Oprah worthy. Take the quiz built on an insider’s experience and a thorough analysis of every author who has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show since November 2005.Every publicist, publisher, and distributor in the book industry has heard it a million times from authors: “I think I’m perfect for Oprah!” After booking an author on Oprah and watching the truly unbelievable—more accurate description: utterly frightening—effect the appearance had on sales, I understand your hunger for the booking. On the other hand, Oprah is the pie in the sky media hit and most authors are not appropriate for the show. The following quiz is an attempt to either (a) save you from becoming a cliché—you need to know if you’re making people’s eyes roll behind your back—or (b) validate your belief that you are indeed a good fit for Oprah.

DISCLAIMER AND A NOTE ABOUT THE “X” FACTOR: First, I’d like to clarify that this quiz tests an author’s chances of being booked as a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show, not a book’s chances of being named a selection for Oprah’s Book Club. Second, I’d like to point out that, obviously, there is no scientific formula to assess your Oprah worthiness; however, this quiz will measure five key indicators. I don’t believe that the sixth—and perhaps most important—indicator can be measured in a self-assessment quiz, so I purposefully omitted it. The “X” factor I’m referring to is quality. More specifically, I’m referring to the quality of the content (i.e., message) and the product (i.e., production quality—editing, design, packaging—and distribution). Only the best make it to Oprah, so appreciate the weight of this factor when reviewing your score, and make tempered adjustments as you see fit.

THE QUIZ: Number a blank sheet of paper from 1-5, and record your answer to each question beside the corresponding number. For questions that require a rating of 1-5, assume 5 to be the highest possible score. Good luck!

1. Record the number next to the topic/genre that best describes your book.

Choose only one:

Celebrity Biography/Memoir: 5
Current Events: 4
Addiction: 3
Health/Beauty/Aging: 5
Personal Finance: 4
Cooking: 2
Fiction or Noncelebrity Memoir: 2
Relationships/Sex/Sexuality: 5
Home Decorating/Domestic: 3
Other: 1

2. Rate your celebrity (or the fame of the subject of your book, if a biography) on a scale of 1-5.
REALITY CHECK: I would be a 1, the average NY Times bestseller would be a 3, Michael Jordan would be a 5.

3. Rate the level of inspiration in your book on a scale of 1-5.
REALITY CHECK: Try to be as objective as possible.

4. Are you working with a publicist who has booked an author on Oprah in the past?
Yes: 5, No: 1

5. Have you ever appeared on national television?
Yes: 5, No: 1

THE RESULTS: If your total is 13 or less (maybe that number really IS unlucky!), you need to take a couple eggs out of the Oprah basket. Though dark horses often land Oprah appearances, it’s not likely that you’ll get a booking, so be sure to spread your publicity efforts around to other big—and small—media outlets.

If you scored a 14-20, you have a real shot at Oprah. The factors that will most likely determine whether or not you make it on the show are timing, the quality of your connection to the show’s producers, the quality of your book and its content, and luck (i.e. relevance to Oprah’s planned show topics). You should be working on your message, your media skills, and your timing. Communicate with your publisher and distributor, and make sure you have a supply chain ready to support an appearance on Oprah. Give your publicists everything they need to land the booking, and provide them with only positive support. Negativity and nagging do not inspire publicists. Believe in them and trust in their abilities.

If your score is above 20, you’re likely a great fit for Oprah. Your chance of landing a booking will probably depend on timing and luck. Of course, the powerful variable—the quality of your book and its content—is not measured in this quiz. If you don’t get a booking on Oprah or another big show, you may consider soliciting honest feedback from industry insiders (who are NOT on your payroll) to see if your quality needs attention. If you get great reviews and other big media hits and still no Oprah, you may consider investing in a lucky charm of some sort, coming to peace with the idea that some things are simply not meant to be, and start working on your next Oprah-worthy book.

Check out what shows Oprah has in the works, and see if you’re a good fit for the topic.